My Blog

By Rosy Greer, CMHC,MS,LAC | October 2, 2024

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation technique used to make someone question their reality, self-worth, and mental stability. If you've ever felt confused, second-guessed your experiences, or doubted your own emotions due to someone else's behavior, you may have been a victim of gaslighting. Whether experienced in relationships, family dynamics, or workplaces, the emotional toll of gaslighting can be overwhelming.

This blog aims to highlight effective therapeutic approaches to help you recover from the effects of gaslighting, rebuild your confidence, and reclaim your life.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the manipulator seeks to make their victim question their sense of reality, leading to confusion, anxiety, and self-doubt. The term originates from the 1938 play Gas Light, where the male character manipulates his wife into believing she is losing her mind.

Those who have endured gaslighting often face symptoms like:

• Increased Anxiety and Depression: Constant self-doubt and undermining can result in heightened anxiety and depression.
• Reduced Self-Esteem: Repeated invalidation can chip away at one’s self-worth.
• Chronic Confusion and Self-Doubt: A victim may question their thoughts, memories, and experiences, leading to emotional exhaustion.

If you’ve experienced these symptoms or have been in a relationship where your reality was constantly challenged, healing is possible. Let’s explore the most effective therapeutic approaches to begin that journey.

CBT is one of the most widely recognized and effective forms of therapy for dealing with the effects of gaslighting. The core idea behind CBT is to identify and challenge negative thought patterns that have developed due to abusive experiences.

CBT works by:

• Identifying Distorted Thoughts: Helps you recognize thought patterns that may have developed due to gaslighting, such as self-blame or feeling "not good enough."
• Reframing Negative Thoughts: Guides you to reframe these thoughts and challenge the gaslighter’s narrative.
• Building Emotional Resilience: Through structured techniques, CBT promotes emotional resilience and healthier coping mechanisms.

By focusing on how your thoughts affect your emotions and behaviors, CBT allows you to regain control over your mindset and reduce the impact of gaslighting.

Trauma-informed therapy recognizes that the experience of gaslighting is often deeply traumatic. This approach is sensitive to the effects of trauma on the brain and body and provides a safe, empathetic space to process those experiences.

• Creating Safety: Establishes a safe environment where you feel secure to share your thoughts without judgment.
• Empowerment: Promotes self-awareness and self-regulation to reduce feelings of helplessness.
• Collaboration and Trust: Fosters a collaborative therapist-client relationship, encouraging active participation in the healing process.

Trauma-informed therapy helps to break the cycle of manipulation, understand the roots of your trauma, and facilitate long-term healing.

Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT) is centered around finding practical solutions and building toward a desired future rather than dwelling on past experiences. It can be highly effective for those dealing with gaslighting because it emphasizes resilience, goal-setting, and positive change.

• Focusing on Strengths: SFT highlights your strengths and coping skills, fostering a sense of empowerment.
• Setting Clear Goals: Encourages you to set small, manageable goals that can help you build confidence and independence.
• Emphasizing Solutions, Not Problems: While past experiences are acknowledged, the primary focus is on creating actionable steps to move forward.

SFT provides a forward-thinking and goal-oriented path to recovery, ideal for those who want to rebuild their lives after being undermined by gaslighting.

Mindfulness is the practice of staying present in the moment and developing a non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts and feelings. Self-compassion extends this awareness by promoting self-kindness and understanding, especially in moments of pain or self-doubt.

• Promotes Emotional Regulation: Helps you manage overwhelming emotions that may arise from gaslighting experiences.
• Builds Self-Compassion: Encourages you to treat yourself with kindness, counteracting the self-criticism often induced by manipulation.
• Breaks the Cycle of Negative Thoughts: By staying present and grounded, mindfulness reduces the cycle of anxiety and self-doubt caused by past experiences.

Mindfulness techniques can include meditation, breathwork, or simply observing your thoughts without judgment. Over time, these practices can help you rebuild your self-esteem and develop a more loving relationship with yourself.

Engaging in group therapy or support groups specifically for survivors of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse can be a transformative experience. Sharing your story in a group setting allows you to connect with others who understand your experiences and can offer support and validation.

• Shared Experiences and Validation: Hearing others' stories can reduce feelings of isolation and validate your own experiences.
• Emotional Support and Encouragement: Being part of a supportive community can help you process emotions and encourage your healing journey.
• Skill Building and Coping Strategies: Group sessions often provide practical tools to build resilience and cope with lingering effects of gaslighting.

At New Chapter Counseling, we offer a specialized group therapy program called Reclaiming You: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. This upcoming virtual group will guide you through a journey of recovery in a supportive, non-judgmental space. For more details on how you can join and start healing, visit our group therapy page here.

When recovering from gaslighting, it's essential to choose a therapeutic approach that resonates with your needs and goals. Working with a therapist who understands the complexities of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse is key to a successful recovery journey.

At New Chapter Counseling, we specialize in narcissistic abuse recovery and toxic relationships. Our team offers a safe, compassionate space for those struggling with the impact of gaslighting. Our approach integrates evidence-based therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , Solution-Focused Therapy, trauma-informed care, and mindfulness techniques to guide you toward recovery.

We understand how deeply gaslighting can affect your mental and emotional well-being. Our tailored, empathetic support is designed to help you regain clarity, build resilience, and restore your self-worth.

If you've been affected by gaslighting and want to begin your journey of healing, we encourage you to reach out for a free 30-minute consultation. We’ll discuss your needs, answer any questions, and help you find the right therapeutic approach to guide you on your path to recovery.

Contact us today at 480-781-4262 or visit our website at www.mynewchaptercounseling.com. You're not alone in this journey—we’re here to support and guide you toward the life you deserve.

Final Thoughts: Moving Forward with ConfidenceGaslighting can deeply undermine your sense of reality, self-worth, and emotional stability. However, recovery is not only possible but entirely within reach. Through self-awareness, therapeutic support, and consistent effort, you can reclaim your voice, your confidence, and your sense of self.

Healing is a journey, and you're taking a courageous first step in seeking support. At New Chapter Counseling, we’re honored to be a part of your path to recovery.

By Rosy Greer, CMHC,MS,LAC | Sept 30, 2024

Seeking therapy for narcissistic abuse recovery is a courageous step toward reclaiming your life, healing deep emotional wounds, and rediscovering your sense of self-worth. But what happens when therapy feels like it's not working, or worse, when you feel like you're moving backward instead of forward? This can be especially disheartening when you've been brave enough to confront your trauma, only to feel like your therapist doesn't truly understand what you're going through.

Feeling misunderstood or stagnant in therapy can be frustrating, leaving you with even more questions and doubts about your recovery. If you’re currently in therapy but feel like your therapist "just doesn’t get it," you're not alone. This blog will help you understand why this might be happening, explore what steps you can take, and learn how to find the right support for your healing journey from narcissistic abuse.

Therapy is meant to be a safe and supportive space where you can process your experiences, explore your emotions, and work on healing. However, if you feel that your sessions aren’t resonating with you or, even worse, leave you feeling more hopeless, it could be for a variety of reasons. Let’s dive into some common causes:

Narcissistic abuse is a highly specific and complex form of trauma that requires a nuanced understanding from a mental health professional. While many therapists are competent generalists, they may lack specialized training or experience in narcissistic abuse recovery. This disconnect can make it difficult for them to fully understand your challenges, particularly the unique patterns of manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional exploitation that are common in narcissistic relationships.

There are many therapeutic approaches to healing from narcissistic abuse, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), trauma-focused therapy, and Solution-Focused Therapy. However, if your therapist’s approach doesn’t align with the emotional turmoil caused by narcissistic abuse or doesn’t meet your unique needs, you may not see the progress you desire. For example, traditional talk therapy may not be enough to address the complex trauma and emotional flashbacks experienced by survivors.

When healing from narcissistic abuse, feeling validated, heard, and emotionally supported is crucial. If your therapist isn’t offering a space where you feel truly understood, you may start to feel like your pain is minimized. A lack of emotional validation can contribute to feeling like you're moving backward instead of making positive strides toward healing.

Narcissistic abuse leaves deep-rooted trauma that often needs to be acknowledged and processed at its core. If therapy sessions stay at the surface level, focusing only on symptom management (like reducing anxiety or improving daily functioning) without addressing the underlying emotional wounds, you can quickly find yourself stuck and unable to heal fully.

Feeling like you're not making progress in therapy can be disheartening. However, it doesn't mean that recovery is out of reach. Sometimes, it’s a matter of reassessing your current therapeutic relationship or finding a therapist who better aligns with your needs. Here are some signs it may be time to explore new options:

It's normal for therapy to bring up difficult emotions, but overall, you should leave sessions feeling supported and somewhat relieved. If you consistently leave sessions feeling invalidated, overwhelmed, or confused, it’s a sign that the therapy isn't working effectively for you.

A strong therapeutic relationship is based on trust, empathy, and understanding. If you don't feel comfortable being open and vulnerable with your therapist, or if you sense that they aren't "getting" what you’re going through, it's tough to make meaningful progress in your recovery from narcissistic abuse.

One of the hallmarks of working with a specialist in narcissistic abuse is feeling deeply understood and validated. If your therapist minimizes your experience, urges you to "just let it go," or dismisses your pain, it can hinder your recovery journey. Feeling seen and validated is key to processing the trauma of narcissistic abuse.

Therapy should help you address the most critical aspects of your recovery. If you’ve been in therapy for a while and notice that your core concerns are not being addressed, or if you feel that your goals are not being met, it may be time to seek a new approach or therapist.

If you're struggling to find the support you need from your current therapist, don't lose hope. You have the power to take steps to find a better fit for your healing journey. Here's what you can do:

Before making any drastic decisions, try having an open conversation with your therapist. Share how you're feeling about your progress, what you need more of, and what’s not working for you. A responsive and skilled therapist will listen to your feedback and may be willing to adjust their approach to better meet your needs.

Take some time to reflect on what you're looking for in therapy. Are you seeking specialized support from a therapist who understands the dynamics of narcissistic abuse and trauma? Are you in need of validation and guidance on how to rebuild your sense of self and boundaries? Understanding what you need will help you find a therapist who aligns with your recovery goals.

A therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse recovery will have a deep understanding of the emotional abuse, manipulation, and control tactics that are often present in such relationships. They can offer tailored strategies, trauma-focused interventions, and the level of validation that is essential for your recovery. At New Chapter Counseling, we focus on providing expert care for those recovering from narcissistic abuse, offering an empathetic and knowledgeable approach to help you heal.

Sometimes, a different therapeutic modality can make a significant difference. Trauma-focused approaches, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or trauma-informed CBT, may be more effective than standard talk therapy. Exploring group therapy options with other survivors of narcissistic abuse can also provide powerful peer support and validation.

Discuss your goals for therapy with your therapist and make sure you're both on the same page. Clear, realistic goals give your therapy direction and help you track your progress over time.

When you’re dealing with narcissistic abuse, finding a therapist who truly understands your experience can make all the difference. A specialist in narcissistic abuse recovery can offer:

• Targeted Understanding: They are familiar with the covert and overt behaviors of narcissistic abuse, including gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and trauma bonding.
• Validation and Support: They understand the severity of the trauma you’ve been through and can provide a safe space where your experiences are acknowledged and validated.
• Tailored Tools and Strategies: You'll receive practical, actionable strategies specific to overcoming the trauma and rebuilding self-worth, setting boundaries, and fostering emotional healing.

At New Chapter Counseling, we know how crucial it is to find a therapist who “gets it.” We specialize in working with survivors of narcissistic abuse and provide therapy that is trauma-informed and client-centered. Our mission is to help you reclaim your life, rebuild self-esteem, and heal from emotional wounds in a safe, non-judgmental environment.

If your current therapist doesn’t feel like the right fit, we’re here to help. Our services include:

• Free 30-Minute Consultation: Finding the right therapist can be challenging, so we offer a free consultation to discuss your needs, our approach, and how we can support you in your healing journey.
• Specialized Trauma Therapy: Our therapy focuses on narcissistic abuse recovery and trauma, providing targeted interventions to help you move forward.
• A Compassionate and Understanding Environment: At New Chapter Counseling, we strive to create a space where you feel safe, understood, and supported every step of the way.

To explore therapy options and start your recovery journey, call or text us at 480-781-4262 or visit our website at mynewchaptercounseling.com.

Your healing journey is deeply personal, and the therapist who supports you should be someone who genuinely understands your experiences and offers meaningful guidance. If you feel like your current therapist doesn't "get it" or that you're not making progress, don’t give up on therapy altogether. Instead, seek out someone who specializes in narcissistic abuse recovery and aligns with your goals and needs.

Your emotional well-being matters, and you deserve a therapist who is as committed to your healing as you are. Taking steps to find the right support shows strength and courage, and it's never too late to start afresh on your path to healing and self-discovery.

By understanding what you need and finding a therapist who aligns with your recovery, you can open the door to lasting progress and meaningful change. Take the first step with confidence, knowing that the right support is out there, and your journey to recovery is one worth taking.

By Rosy Greer, CMHC,MS,LAC | Sept 29, 2024

Experiencing narcissistic abuse is life-altering, and the journey toward healing can often feel like an uphill battle. If you’ve been in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, you may be left feeling lost, broken, and emotionally overwhelmed. Rebuilding your life after narcissistic abuse isn’t just about recovering your sense of self—it’s about reclaiming your voice, your self-worth, and your power.

While individual therapy is highly effective for many, group counseling has emerged as a transformative approach for survivors. Group counseling offers a safe and supportive space to not only heal but also connect with others who understand what you’ve been through. Let's explore why group counseling is a game-changer for narcissistic abuse recovery and how it can significantly impact your healing journey.

Being in a narcissistic relationship can leave you feeling isolated and misunderstood. A narcissist often manipulates and controls, leaving their victims feeling invalidated, self-doubtful, and disconnected from others. Group counseling, particularly for those recovering from narcissistic abuse, provides a unique environment where survivors can come together to heal. This environment fosters empowerment, understanding, and communal support.

Here are some of the key benefits that make group therapy for narcissistic abuse so powerful:

One of the most significant benefits of group counseling is the opportunity to connect with others who have experienced similar struggles. Narcissistic abuse can be isolating, and the abuser often makes you question your reality and your sense of self. Sharing your story with those who truly understand can be incredibly validating and comforting. It helps break the isolation and affirms that you’re not alone in your experience.

Group therapy provides a non-judgmental space where survivors can openly share their experiences, fears, and triumphs. Knowing that you are surrounded by people who "get it" creates an environment of trust and safety, which is vital for healing. In a group setting, members learn to listen, empathize, and support one another, making the journey to recovery less lonely and more hopeful.

Keywords: safe space for survivors of narcissistic abuse, healing from toxic relationships, supportive group therapy.

The aftermath of narcissistic abuse often leaves survivors with anxiety, self-esteem issues, and difficulty setting healthy boundaries. In group counseling, you’ll be guided by a skilled therapist who can introduce practical tools and coping strategies tailored to your needs. These tools may include mindfulness exercises, boundary-setting techniques, and self-compassion practices. You also have the added benefit of hearing how others in the group are applying these tools in their lives, providing further insights and encouragement.

Keywords: coping strategies for narcissistic abuse, tools for healing, boundary setting in relationships.

One of the lasting effects of narcissistic abuse is the struggle to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. Narcissists are known for crossing boundaries—emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically. In group counseling, you’ll not only learn what healthy boundaries look like, but you'll also practice setting and respecting boundaries within a supportive group setting. This practice is crucial for rebuilding your self-worth and ensuring healthier relationships in the future.

Keywords: healthy boundaries in relationships, recovering from narcissistic abuse, boundary-setting skills.

There’s something deeply empowering about watching others in your group make progress in their healing journey. Witnessing breakthroughs, successes, and the rebuilding of confidence in others can help you see what’s possible for yourself. As you share your own story and support others, you will likely find that your confidence and self-worth improve, contributing to your own personal growth and healing.

The group counseling sessions are led by Rosy Greer, a licensed therapist specializing in working with individuals recovering from narcissistic abuse. Rosy's compassionate approach and in-depth understanding of trauma recovery allow each participant to be guided thoughtfully through their healing journey. With her expertise, you will not only learn effective strategies for recovery but also feel supported and understood throughout the process.

Keywords: licensed therapist for narcissistic abuse, trauma recovery, professional guidance in therapy groups.

One of the advantages of group counseling is the affordability compared to one-on-one therapy. The cost of this 10-week group session is just $60 per 90-minute session, making it an accessible option for those seeking professional support. We also offer a sliding scale fee for those who qualify, ensuring that everyone has the opportunity to participate in this transformative experience.

Keywords: affordable therapy options, sliding scale therapy, group counseling cost.

Virtual Sessions for Convenience and Comfort

The “Reclaiming You: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse” group is a virtual 10-week trauma therapy group held every Tuesday from 4 PM to 5:30 PM, starting October 15th and ending December 17th. The virtual format ensures you can join from the comfort and privacy of your own space, fostering an environment where you feel safe to share and connect.

Signing Up Is Simple

1. Reach Out to Us – To join the group, call or text 480-269-4647 or email rgreer@mynewchaptercounseling.com to express your interest or ask any questions.
2. Complete the Required Forms – Once you’ve reached out, you will receive an email containing the necessary forms to complete your registration. These documents are crucial to securing your spot in the group, and we encourage you to submit them as soon as possible due to limited availability.
3. Receive Your Welcome Email – After registration, you will receive a welcome email with all the details you need before the first session, including how to access the virtual platform, what to expect, and some tips to help you prepare for this healing journey.

Specialization in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Not all therapy groups are created equal. This group is specifically tailored to those recovering from narcissistic abuse, offering unique insights and support that general therapy groups may not provide. Being in a group with individuals who share a similar experience of narcissistic abuse allows for more targeted discussions, relatable experiences, and tailored coping strategies that directly address the impact of these toxic relationships.

Small, Supportive Group Setting

The group is limited to only 10 participants, ensuring that each member has the opportunity to share, connect, and receive individualized support. This intimate setting allows for deeper conversations and more meaningful interactions among group members.

Space in this group is limited, and spots are filled on a first-come, first-served basis. If you're ready to reclaim your life from the effects of narcissistic abuse, don't miss this opportunity to join a supportive community dedicated to healing and personal growth.

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey, and it’s a journey that you don’t have to take alone. Group counseling can provide the support, validation, and empowerment you need to move forward toward a brighter, healthier future.

For more information or to sign up for “Reclaiming You: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse,” call us at 480-269-4647 or email rgreer@mynewchaptercounseling.com today. Take the step toward reclaiming your voice, your power, and your future.

By Rosy Greer, CMHC,MS,LAC | Sept 26, 2024

Are you ready to take control of your healing journey and find support among others who understand your struggles? Group therapy can be a transformative experience, offering not only a space to share your story but also a unique way to connect, heal, and grow.

This October, New Chapter Counseling is launching "Reclaiming You: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse," a 9-week virtual group therapy program designed for adults who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Whether you're navigating the aftermath of a toxic relationship or working through complex trauma, this group is a place where you can find understanding, empathy, and tools for lasting recovery—all from the comfort and privacy of your own home.

Group counseling is a powerful form of therapy that provides a supportive community and safe environment for healing. Here are some of the key benefits of joining a group therapy session:

1. Shared Experience and Support
   There is immense power in knowing you’re not alone. Group therapy allows participants to connect with others who have faced similar struggles, offering a unique opportunity to share, empathize, and support one another.
2. Different Perspectives, Real Growth
   Hearing how others have coped and healed can provide valuable insights and practical coping strategies. Each member's experiences can bring new perspectives and inspiration, helping you view your own challenges in a new light.
3. Skill-Building and Practical Tools
   In a group setting, you can learn and practice new skills to improve your relationships, set boundaries, and rebuild your self-worth. Our sessions focus on practical exercises and tools to support you in your healing journey.
4. Safe, Confidential Environment
   Group sessions at New Chapter Counseling provide a safe and non-judgmental space where you can openly share your feelings, struggles, and successes, knowing your privacy is respected.

The group will run for 9 weeks, meeting weekly for 90-minute virtual sessions. Each session will focus on different aspects of healing from narcissistic abuse, including boundary-setting, rebuilding self-esteem, trauma recovery, and creating healthier relationships moving forward.

The "Reclaiming You" group is facilitated by Rosy Greer, CMHC, MS,LAC specialist in working with individuals recovering from narcissistic abuse. With her compassionate and empathetic approach, Rosy uses her extensive expertise in trauma recovery to create a safe space where each participant feels heard and supported. Her deep understanding of the complexities of narcissistic abuse ensures that every session is tailored to help you heal, regain your self-worth, and move forward on your recovery journey.

1. How Do I Secure My Spot in the Group?
Spots are limited to 10 participants, allowing for an intimate, supportive group dynamic. This is a closed group, which means once the group starts, no additional participants will be added, ensuring trust and continuity for everyone involved. To secure your spot, you will need to complete the required paperwork, which will be sent upon your initial registration. Since spaces fill quickly, we encourage you to complete the forms as soon as possible—preferably within 24 hours of receiving them.

2. What is the Cost?
The group therapy session costs $60 per session. While we do not take insurance directly, we aim to make our services accessible and affordable. If cost is a concern, we offer a sliding scale based on financial need, so please inquire if you think you may qualify.

3. Why Don’t You Accept Insurance?
Our practice is dedicated to providing specialized support without limitations or diagnoses dictated by insurance companies. By offering private pay options, we ensure that therapy is personalized and tailored to your needs without compromising the level of care. Additionally, many insurance plans do not cover group therapy or trauma-specific counseling, making our approach more flexible and directly aligned with your healing goals.

4. How Do I Know If Group Therapy Is Right for Me?
If you've experienced narcissistic abuse or toxic relationships and are looking for a supportive environment to work on healing, boundary-setting, and regaining your sense of self, this group can be an excellent fit. Group therapy is often more affordable than individual sessions while offering many benefits, including peer support, shared learning, and communal healing.

1. Specialized Focus on Narcissistic Abuse
Unlike general therapy groups, "Reclaiming You" is specifically designed for those who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Our sessions dive deeply into the specific challenges you face, providing targeted strategies for healing and recovery.

2. Safe and Supportive Environment
Our small, closed group allows for deeper trust-building among participants. This environment encourages open sharing and meaningful connections, fostering a sense of belonging and support.

3. Proven Techniques and Tools for Recovery
Under Rosy Greer’s guidance, participants will learn practical tools to reclaim their lives, including techniques for boundary-setting, rebuilding self-esteem, and developing healthy relationship patterns moving forward.

Ready to Start Healing?
To join "Reclaiming You: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse," contact us today to begin the registration process. Once we receive your initial inquiry, we will send you an email with all the necessary forms to complete your registration. Remember, spots are limited and fill on a first-come, first-served basis. Completing the paperwork promptly is crucial to ensuring your place in the group.

After you sign up, you will receive a welcome email with all the information you'll need to know before the group starts on October 16th. This email will include details about the group schedule, what to expect in each session, and any additional resources to help you prepare for this transformative journey.

For more information or to sign up, please reach out to us at 480-269-4647. 

You can also register here: https://mynewchaptercounseling.com/group-therapy We are happy to answer any questions you may have and guide you through the process.

Taking the step to join a group therapy session is an act of courage and self-care. We look forward to supporting you in your healing journey and helping you reclaim your life from the effects of narcissistic abuse.

At New Chapter Counseling, our focus is on helping you find the tools and support you need to overcome the pain of narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. We are passionate about providing compassionate care that empowers you to reclaim your life. For a free consultation or to find out more about our group therapy services, call us at 480-269-4647.

By Rosy Greer, CMHC,MS,LAC | Sept 25, 2024

Empathy is at the core of any healthy relationship, especially for couples who are facing life's challenges together. When a spouse experiences a lack of empathy from their partner, particularly during moments of emotional distress, the impact can be profound and long-lasting. The absence of empathy can leave one feeling isolated and unsupported. Understanding how this lack of empathy affects relationships is critical in addressing these gaps and improving emotional connection.

At New Chapter Counseling, we specialize in trauma therapy and recovery from narcissistic abuse. This blog aims to explore the effects of a lack of empathy in relationships, potential signs of deeper issues, and steps for healing and rebuilding connection.

Empathy is the ability to emotionally connect with another person’s experiences, seeing the world through their eyes and responding with compassion. When partners are empathic toward each other, it promotes emotional intimacy, understanding, and trust. A relationship rooted in empathy feels safe and supportive, allowing both partners to be vulnerable and share openly.

However, in a marriage or partnership lacking empathy, emotional support is minimal, which can lead to a breakdown in emotional intimacy. When one spouse is going through something painful and the other doesn’t care or show empathy, it creates a gap in the relationship that can feel impossible to bridge. Understanding how this lack of empathy affects relationships is essential in addressing these gaps and improving emotional connection.

The absence of empathy from a spouse is more than just a small issue—it can erode the foundation of the relationship. Here are some of the ways that lacking empathy can affect the hurt spouse emotionally:

When a spouse feels emotionally unsupported, it can lead to intense feelings of isolation and loneliness. Instead of being a source of comfort and support, the relationship may feel like an empty shell. The partner going through difficult emotions may feel unseen and uncared for, leading to emotional detachment.

Intimacy in a marriage is both physical and emotional. If your partner doesn’t show empathy during tough times, it breaks the cycle of trust, leading to reduced intimacy. Over time, the injured spouse may feel reluctant to share their emotions and may start seeking emotional support elsewhere.

The lack of empathy can have a damaging effect on one’s self-esteem. If your emotions are frequently dismissed or belittled, you might start feeling like your feelings don’t matter, leading to questions about your self-worth. Over time, this erosion of self-confidence can have long-term impacts on mental health.

Consistently feeling unsupported or misunderstood in a relationship can lead to anxiety and depression. When your spouse fails to show empathy, it can make even the smallest challenges feel overwhelming, leaving you feeling constantly on edge.

In situations where the spouse who lacks empathy also displays irritability or anger, the hurt spouse may find themselves "walking on eggshells" to avoid conflict. This dynamic hinders open communication and emotional closeness, leaving the relationship stuck in an unhealthy cycle.

While everyone can be less empathetic at times, a chronic lack of empathy may indicate deeper problems in the relationship. It can also be a sign of more severe individual challenges or patterns that need attention. Here are some potential reasons why your spouse may struggle with showing empathy:

An ongoing lack of empathy could be tied to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or other emotional impairments. People with narcissistic traits often focus primarily on their own needs and are unable to emotionally connect with their partner’s experiences. Emotional unavailability, stemming from past trauma or other mental health issues, may also play a role in the absence of empathy.

If there has been persistent conflict or relational burnout, one partner may choose to emotionally detach as a self-protection mechanism. This can cause a disconnection, where they become less invested in the relationship and are less likely to respond empathetically.

A lack of empathy could simply be the result of poor communication skills or emotional intelligence. Some partners may struggle to articulate empathy because they have never learned how. The good news is that communication skills and empathy-building can be developed over time through guidance and intentional effort.

In more serious cases, the absence of empathy may signal a toxic relationship where emotional abuse, gaslighting, or manipulation is present. A partner who consistently belittles or devalues you is engaging in emotionally abusive behavior that requires immediate attention and possibly professional intervention.

If you’re dealing with a spouse who lacks empathy, there are ways to address this issue and work toward a healthier and more empathetic partnership. Healing is possible with dedication and effort from both partners. Here are some actionable steps to get started:

It’s vital to have honest conversations about your needs and emotions. Approach your spouse in a calm, non-accusatory way and share how their lack of empathy makes you feel. Use “I feel” statements to express your emotions, such as, “I feel unsupported when you don’t acknowledge how I’m feeling.”

If you're struggling with a partner who displays narcissistic traits or lacks empathy, working with a narcissistic abuse recovery therapist can be invaluable. At New Chapter Counseling, our team offers specialized trauma therapy tailored to those experiencing the effects of narcissistic behavior or emotional neglect.

To explore therapy options and support, reach out for a free 30-minute consultation at 480-269-4647.

Empathy is about more than just understanding feelings; it's about actively listening to your partner and validating their experiences. Encourage both partners to practice active listening—paying full attention when your spouse is speaking, validating their emotions, and responding with compassion.

Healthy boundaries are essential to emotional safety. Discuss and agree on how you wish to be treated, and be prepared to honor and respect each other's needs. Setting boundaries in the relationship helps protect both partners' emotional well-being.

Couples counseling offers a neutral space for exploring and resolving relationship issues. Working with a therapist can help you both understand each other better, develop effective communication skills, and increase emotional intimacy. New Chapter Counseling provides a safe and supportive environment to rebuild empathy and trust in your marriage.

Practicing gratitude, appreciation, and emotional attunement can help build empathy. Regularly acknowledging and appreciating your spouse for their efforts, listening deeply, and participating in shared activities that foster connection are all ways to improve empathy within the relationship.

A lack of empathy from your spouse can have a profound emotional effect. It’s essential to prioritize your well-being and seek support if you're feeling emotionally isolated. Remember, empathy is a foundational part of any healthy partnership, and it’s okay to seek help when this crucial element is missing.

At New Chapter Counseling, our therapy services are designed to help individuals and couples build stronger, more empathetic connections. With a focus on narcissistic abuse recovery and trauma therapy, we provide personalized guidance tailored to your needs.

Empathy is the bridge to a deeper and more connected relationship. Even if your marriage has struggled with empathy issues, positive change is possible through self-awareness, therapeutic support, and consistent effort from both partners.

Taking the first step to heal and grow your relationship is courageous. Whether it's through individual therapy or couples counseling, developing the tools to build empathy can enhance intimacy and connection.

For more information or to schedule a free 30-minute consultation, contact New Chapter Counseling at 480-269-4647.

By Rosy Greer, CMHC,MS,LAC | Sept 21, 2024

Narcissistic abuse can leave profound emotional, psychological, and even physical scars. The manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional trauma experienced in a relationship with a narcissist are unlike many other forms of psychological abuse. When it comes to recovering from such abuse, a one-size-fits-all approach isn’t enough. While Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT) can be incredibly helpful, it’s often more effective to take an eclectic approach—one that integrates multiple therapeutic techniques tailored to the unique needs of each client.

As a therapist certified in narcissistic abuse recovery and trauma, I believe that using an eclectic approach provides the most comprehensive path toward healing. This method pulls from various therapeutic frameworks, offering a more customized and flexible way to address the multi-layered effects of narcissistic abuse. In this blog, we’ll explore how an eclectic approach works, why traditional talk therapy alone isn’t enough, and why working with a certified therapist is crucial for long-term recovery.

An eclectic approach combines multiple therapeutic techniques to best meet the needs of each client. Instead of relying solely on one form of therapy, therapists using an eclectic approach integrate aspects of several models, such as:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps clients challenge and change distorted thinking patterns.
• Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT): Focuses on solutions and achieving specific, actionable goals.
• Trauma-Informed Therapy: Ensures that therapy is conducted in a way that recognizes and addresses the effects of trauma.
• Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: Teaches grounding techniques to help regulate emotions and reduce anxiety.
• Attachment-Based Therapy: Addresses how early relationships impact current behavior and emotional health, particularly important for those with trauma related to narcissistic parents or partners.

This approach is especially effective for narcissistic abuse survivors because it addresses both the immediate need to feel safe and the longer-term need for emotional recovery.

Narcissistic abuse doesn’t affect just one area of your life; it seeps into every aspect—your self-esteem, your ability to trust others, your sense of reality, and even your ability to feel joy or safety. An eclectic approach allows for a more comprehensive healing process because it can address the many facets of trauma caused by narcissistic abuse.

For example, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps in challenging distorted beliefs you’ve developed about yourself due to the narcissist's manipulation. Mindfulness techniques can provide a sense of calm when anxiety or fear overwhelms you, while Attachment-Based Therapy helps unravel the wounds left by early caregivers, such as narcissistic parents, which may be influencing your current relationship dynamics.

Survivors of narcissistic abuse often feel powerless and trapped, and a rigid therapeutic approach can sometimes reinforce those feelings. The beauty of an eclectic approach is its flexibility. Each session is tailored to your immediate needs. Some days, you might need strategies to deal with panic attacks or flashbacks, while on others, the focus might be on understanding the impact of childhood trauma.

This flexibility ensures that you’re not locked into a single method but can adapt based on what’s most helpful for you at any given time.

While Solution-Focused Therapy can provide quick wins by focusing on actionable steps (such as setting boundaries or leaving a toxic relationship), deeper trauma needs to be acknowledged and processed for full healing to take place. An eclectic approach offers a balance between the practical and the emotional. You’ll not only learn how to break free from the narcissist's control but also explore and heal the deep emotional wounds they’ve caused.

This balance ensures that while you're taking active steps to regain control over your life, you're also addressing the underlying emotional scars.

Narcissistic abuse often destroys self-worth. Narcissists thrive on control, manipulation, and belittling their victims. Survivors frequently find themselves doubting their value and ability to function independently. The eclectic approach, particularly with the integration of CBT and trauma-informed therapy, helps to rebuild that sense of worth.

These therapies work by helping you recognize and challenge the negative self-talk instilled by the narcissist, replacing it with a more balanced and realistic view of yourself. Over time, these new thought patterns help restore confidence and self-worth.

Narcissistic abuse is incredibly nuanced. Narcissists often use tactics like gaslighting, blame-shifting, deflection, and anger outbursts to control their victims. Understanding these behaviors and their long-lasting impact requires specialized knowledge. An eclectic approach is well-suited to tackle this complexity because it allows for the incorporation of specific therapeutic tools designed to address the nuances of narcissistic abuse.

For instance, CBT can help you challenge the gaslighting and manipulation you’ve endured, while mindfulness practices teach you how to stay grounded and resist being pulled back into the narcissist's toxic web.

While traditional talk therapy can be helpful for many, it’s often not enough when it comes to healing from narcissistic abuse. Here’s why:

For survivors of narcissistic abuse, talk therapy sometimes leads to over-rumination. Focusing too much on discussing the past without actionable steps can keep you stuck in cycles of blame and self-doubt. This is especially harmful for those who have experienced gaslighting, as the constant rehashing of events may reinforce their confusion rather than provide clarity.

Narcissistic abuse involves patterns of manipulation and psychological warfare that require specific expertise to recognize and address. A general therapist without specialized training in narcissistic abuse might overlook these patterns or even inadvertently perpetuate them by failing to recognize the unique dynamics at play. This is why working with a therapist certified in narcissistic abuse recovery is so crucial.

While traditional therapy is great for emotional exploration, it doesn’t always offer the practical tools needed to escape a toxic relationship, set boundaries, or rebuild a shattered sense of self. This is where Solution-Focused Therapy and other goal-oriented approaches, like trauma-informed therapy, come in. They equip you with the skills you need to protect yourself, create healthy relationships, and start living life on your terms.

When recovering from narcissistic abuse, choosing the right therapist is critical. Here’s why working with a certified narcissistic abuse therapist makes all the difference:

Narcissists are masters of manipulation, using tactics like deflection, anger outbursts, blame-shifting, and gaslighting to keep their victims under control. A general therapist might not recognize these tactics, which can result in misguided advice. A certified narcissistic abuse therapist, however, is trained to spot these behaviors and provide targeted strategies to counteract them and help you heal faster.

Survivors of narcissistic abuse often suffer from trauma that impacts all areas of their lives. Trauma-informed care ensures that therapy addresses not just the emotional fallout but the deeper trauma responses, such as hypervigilance, flashbacks, and anxiety. Without addressing these trauma symptoms, recovery is incomplete.

Recovering from narcissistic abuse is not the same as recovering from other types of emotional pain. It’s a unique and challenging process that requires specialized attention. At New Chapter Counseling, we tailor our therapeutic approach to meet your specific needs, ensuring you get the personalized care and strategies necessary to reclaim your life.

If you're ready to start your journey toward healing, New Chapter Counseling is here for you. I specialize in narcissistic abuse recovery using an eclectic approach that combines multiple therapeutic methods for a well-rounded, effective treatment plan.

Contact me today for a free 30-minute consultation at 480-269-4647 (Call or Text) or visit our website www.mynewchaptercounseling.com to learn more about our services. You don’t have to go through this alone—healing is possible, and it starts with the right support.

By Rosy Greer, CMHC,MS,LAC | Sept 18, 2024

Narcissism is often discussed in the context of identifying it in others, but it's equally important to consider if some of these traits might exist within ourselves. This blog aims to help men reflect on potential narcissistic tendencies and understand how they can impact their relationship with their spouse. Recognizing these behaviors can be the first step toward fostering healthier dynamics in your relationship.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a complex condition, and not everyone with narcissistic traits has NPD. However, certain behaviors can negatively affect relationships, particularly with intimate partners. Studies have shown that narcissistic traits can lead to emotional distress and intimacy issues for those involved in such relationships.

Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Many of us may exhibit narcissistic traits occasionally, but they become problematic when frequent and adversely affect our relationships. Here are some common narcissistic behaviors and how they might appear in a relationship:

A constant need for admiration and validation is a hallmark of narcissism. You might frequently seek praise or acknowledgment from your spouse, which can lead to a dynamic where your wife's needs and feelings are often overlooked or dismissed.

• Impact on Your Wife: This can create an imbalance in the relationship over time. Your wife might feel undervalued or unseen, believing her emotions are secondary to your need for validation. This imbalance can lead to resentment and emotional exhaustion.

A lack of empathy is commonly associated with narcissistic traits. You might struggle to understand or relate to your wife's emotions or perspectives, often unintentionally dismissing her feelings.

• Impact on Your Wife: When empathy is lacking, your wife may feel isolated and unsupported. This can lead to a breakdown in communication and emotional intimacy, as she may feel that her experiences are invalidated.

Narcissistic behavior can involve subtle or overt attempts to control or manipulate situations to suit your needs. This might include steering conversations to topics that interest you, making unilateral decisions, or using emotional tactics to influence your partner’s actions.

• Impact on Your Wife: Such behavior can make your wife feel powerless or that her autonomy is compromised. This dynamic can result in feelings of helplessness, resentment, and a lack of trust in the relationship.

Frequent blame-shifting and refusal to take responsibility for your actions can indicate narcissistic tendencies. Instead of acknowledging mistakes, you might find yourself frequently blaming your partner when things go wrong.

• Impact on Your Wife: Being constantly blamed or criticized can make your wife feel demoralized and unjustly targeted. It can create an environment where she feels she must walk on eggshells to avoid triggering negative reactions.

Narcissistic individuals often display a sense of grandiosity or superiority. You might believe that you deserve special treatment or that your needs should always come first, which can manifest as an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

• Impact on Your Wife: Living with someone who exhibits grandiosity can be emotionally draining. Your wife may feel overshadowed or undervalued, leading to a breakdown in the partnership and a decrease in her self-esteem.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where you make your partner question their reality. This might involve denying things you've said or done, minimizing your partner's feelings, or twisting facts to make her doubt her experiences.

• Impact on Your Wife: Gaslighting can severely impact your wife's mental and emotional health, leading to confusion, self-doubt, and anxiety. This behavior erodes trust and makes open communication challenging.

Deflection involves shifting the blame or focus away from yourself during disagreements, often accompanied by anger outbursts. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, you may redirect the conversation to your partner's faults or unrelated topics.

• Impact on Your Wife: This can leave your wife feeling unheard and dismissed. Anger outbursts can create an environment of fear and tension, making it difficult for her to express her feelings or concerns openly.

Narcissistic behaviors can have a profound impact on your partner. Women in relationships with individuals who exhibit these traits often report feeling emotionally neglected and unsupported. They may experience:

• Anxiety and Depression: Due to constant criticism and emotional neglect.
• Low Self-Esteem: As a result of being put down or manipulated.
• Emotional Exhaustion: From navigating the emotional ups and downs of the relationship.
• Isolation: Feeling disconnected from friends, family, and support networks.
• Self-Doubt and Confusion: Due to gaslighting and blame-shifting.

Recognizing these traits in yourself is a courageous step toward creating a healthier relationship. Here are steps you can take:

Reflect on your behaviors and how they may impact your wife. This self-awareness is crucial for making positive changes.

Consider therapy or counseling to understand the root causes of your behavior. A professional can provide tools to develop healthier relationship patterns.

Work on developing empathy toward your partner by actively listening and validating her feelings.

Engage in open, honest, and respectful communication. Listen without interrupting, and avoid blame-shifting.

Acknowledge your mistakes and apologize. Taking responsibility is vital in building trust and showing your commitment to change.

Respect your wife's needs, opinions, and personal space. Healthy boundaries are essential for a balanced relationship.

Recognizing narcissistic traits within yourself is not an easy journey, but it's an important step toward fostering a healthier relationship. Change is possible, and with the right support and self-awareness, you can develop more positive relationship patterns.

By working on yourself, seeking professional help, and actively improving how you relate to your partner, you can create a more fulfilling and supportive relationship. This journey not only benefits you but also enhances the emotional well-being of your wife.

If you feel you might benefit from professional guidance, New Chapter Counseling is here to support you. We specialize in therapy for individuals dealing with narcissistic traits and those affected by narcissistic abuse. Through a compassionate approach, we can work together to foster healthier relationships and personal growth.

You can reach me at 480-269-4647, feel free to call or text and we can schedule a free 30 minutes consultation. Together, we can navigate these emotions and start your journey toward healing. Remember, recognizing a problem is the first step toward making a change, and seeking help is a sign of strength and a desire for a better future.